Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.
Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.