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Mark Twain

  • American author
  • Born November 30, 1835
  • Died April 21, 1910

Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), the latter often called "The Great American Novel". Twain was raised in Hannibal, Missouri, which later provided the setting for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. He served an apprenticeship with a printer and then worked as a typesetter, contributing articles to the newspaper of his older brother Orion Clemens.


A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.




Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.




We are all alike, on the inside.




When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.




Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.




The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.




If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.




Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.




I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.




George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.




It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.




How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before.




Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.




Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.




Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.




Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.




Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.




Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.




The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.




Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.




Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.

Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.




Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.




My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.




I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.




I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.




There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.




My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.




The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.




'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.




Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.




The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.




I can live for two months on a good compliment.




The lack of money is the root of all evil.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.




It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.




We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.




It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.



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