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A. Whitney Brown

  • American comedian
  • Born July 8, 1952

Alan Whitney Brown (born July 8, 1952) is an American writer and comedian best known for work on Saturday Night Live in the 1980s. In addition to writing for the program, he appeared opposite Dennis Miller in a biting satirical Weekend Update commentary segment called "The Big Picture." He won a 1988 Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Variety or Music Program, along with Al Franken, Tom Davis, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers, Lorne Michaels and Conan O'Brien. He was also one of the original correspondents on Comedy Central's The Daily Show from 1996 to 1998.


Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.




The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.




I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.




I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.




I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.




A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.




Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.




That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.



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