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Adam Carolla

  • American entertainer
  • Born May 27, 1964

Adam Carolla (born May 27, 1964) is an American comedian, radio personality, television host, actor, podcaster, and director. He hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast which set the record as the "most downloaded podcast" as judged by Guinness World Records in 2011.Carolla co-hosted the syndicated radio call-in program Loveline from 1995 to 2005 as well as the show's television incarnation on MTV from 1996 to 2000. He was the co-host and co-creator of the television program The Man Show (1999–2004), and the co-creator and a regular performer on the television show Crank Yankers (2002–2007).


I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.




I mean, we sit around and we go, you know, 'Torture doesn't work.' Well, it's been around for 5,000 years. Most stuff that doesn't work goes the way of the dodo pretty quick, like waterbeds and 8-tracks and things like that.




I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.




I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.




I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.




I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.




I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.




I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'




People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'




My first car was a motorcycle.




You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.




The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.




I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.




Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.




I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.




I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.




You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.




When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.




If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.




The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.




The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.




I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.




I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.




I am not a good cue card reader.




A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.




I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.




I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.




If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.




If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.




I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.




I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.




I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.




When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.




If the media isn't slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?




There are certain things women are better at than men.




I'm a comedian, not a politician.



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