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Adam Carolla

  • American entertainer
  • Born May 27, 1964

Adam Carolla (; born May 27, 1964) is an American comedian, radio personality, television host, actor, podcaster, and director. He hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast which set the record as the "most downloaded podcast" as judged by Guinness World Records in 2011.Carolla co-hosted the syndicated radio call-in program Loveline from 1995 to 2005 as well as the show's television incarnation on MTV from 1996 to 2000. He was the co-host and co-creator of the television program The Man Show (1999–2004), and the co-creator and a regular performer on the television show Crank Yankers (2002–2007).


When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn't imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I'm gone for six days it feels like too much.




I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.




If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'




I've never really broken this down before, but, in movies, you almost have no connection to fans. And if you do TV, you're kind of connected, but they know you as the TV name not your real name. If you do radio, there's more of a bond there. And then if you do a podcast it's like you're literally inside of your fans.




I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.




Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.




Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.




In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it.




I get depressed at airports.




I'm not a Republican.




People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.




If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.




The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.




I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.




I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.




The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'




I don't know anything about computers.




I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.




Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.




I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.




No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.




Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.




I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.




Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.




I was a horrible student.




All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.




I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.




I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.




I'd never hurt another person.




I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.




You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.




Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.




Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.




Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.




I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.




It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.



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